The US 2004 Presidential Election

[Ax Slinger]

You know what really bums me out about it the most? Now I have to wait four years to post my photochop on this political forum I go to that is overrun by right wingnuts. I was really looking forward to that, since I made it several months ago. Oh well, here it is for y'all to laugh at anyway...

[Uschi]

I'm afraid with this you'll be soon closer to the truth as everyone of us can wish for

[Uschi]

Somethin' I found on another forum:

Dear President Bush,

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God’s Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination… End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God’s Laws and how to follow them.

1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can’t I own Canadians?

2. As sanctioned in Exodus 21:7, I would like to sell my daughter into slavery. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness *Lev. 15:19-24). The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev 1:9). The problem is with my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination (Lev. 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don’t agree. Can you settle this? Are there ‘degrees’ of abomination?

7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? (Lev. 24:10-16) Couldn’t we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I am confident you can help.

Thank you again for reminding us that God’s word is eternal and unchanging.

Your adoring fan,

Homer J. Simpson

[FlyerPR]

im sure that his reelection will have a negative impact in the world . its the law of cause and effect in action.

[Ax Slinger]

That was hilarious, Uschi...

Well, we survived the first four years, and I hope we survive the second. I just hope my great great great great great great great great great great grandchildren have enough common sense to get a good education, so that they can get a good paying job. Because they will be paying for all of Bush's "The Rich get Richer and everyone else gets nothing no matter how hard they work for it" policies. That is assuming he doesn't get us all killed. I have a bad feeling that WWIII is coming...

[Kenny Gus]

Maybe we survived the first four years but those years will make the whole western society pay...

[Uschi]

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/6210240 Ouch!