Why am I married???

Why am I married???

Beitragvon danny » Mi Apr 18, 2007 11:02 pm

Have fun :rofl:

You have two choices in life:
You can stay single and be miserable or get married and wish you were dead.


At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,
"Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
"Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."



A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:
"Husband Wanted".
Next day she received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing:
"You can have mine."


When a woman steals your husband,
there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.


A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished.


A little boy asked his father,
"Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."


A young son asked,
"Is it true dad, that in some parts of Africa
a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
Dad replied, "That happens in every country, son."


Then there was a woman who said,
"I never knew what real happiness was until I got married,
and by then, it was too late."


Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.


If you want your spouse to listen and
pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep.

Just think if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.


First guy says, "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy remarks, "You're lucky, mine's still alive."


"A Woman's Prayer:
Dear Lord, I pray for: Wisdom, to understand a man, to Love and to forgive him, and for patience, for his moods. Because Lord, if I pray for Strength I'll just beat him to death "


Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus.
So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, "Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy."
The blind man replies, "If you would've put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus . so shut the hell up."
Woher soll ich wissen, was ich denke, bevor ich höre, was ich sage?

If you try to bind me a bear on I get fox devils wild.....

Danny
:cold:
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Beitragvon b-morebug » Fr Apr 20, 2007 7:51 am

Very cute!!!

I am glad being married is not really that bad but all humor has a thread ot truth!! :love3:
My name is not Sam
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Beitragvon MichaelNoi » Fr Apr 20, 2007 10:36 am

Men and women are not realy made for each other !

Comments welcome :eg:
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Re: Why am I married???

Beitragvon Flying Girl » Mo Apr 23, 2007 2:17 pm

danny hat geschrieben:Have fun :rofl:

You have two choices in life:
You can stay single and be miserable or get married and wish you were dead.


At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,
"Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
"Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."



A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:
"Husband Wanted".
Next day she received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing:
"You can have mine."


When a woman steals your husband,
there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.


A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished.


A little boy asked his father,
"Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."


A young son asked,
"Is it true dad, that in some parts of Africa
a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
Dad replied, "That happens in every country, son."


Then there was a woman who said,
"I never knew what real happiness was until I got married,
and by then, it was too late."


Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.


If you want your spouse to listen and
pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep.

Just think if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.


First guy says, "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy remarks, "You're lucky, mine's still alive."


"A Woman's Prayer:
Dear Lord, I pray for: Wisdom, to understand a man, to Love and to forgive him, and for patience, for his moods. Because Lord, if I pray for Strength I'll just beat him to death "


Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus.
So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, "Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy."
The blind man replies, "If you would've put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus . so shut the hell up."


:schild_lol: :schild_lol: :schild_lol:
This is SOOOOOOO cool, Danny! :banana:

I for sure will remember this on August 18th when.......

......yep, I am getting married! :rofl:
Flying high, as long as you are 5 mm of the ground, you have not crashed yet.......

.......... and in case of emergency - please place your head between you legs............... and kiss your ass goodbye! :lol:
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Beitragvon Lars Bro » Fr Apr 27, 2007 8:14 am

This one's for you in particular, FG, and also for all you other married lads/lassies - - and politicians, lawyers, generals, dentists and ... everybody else btw.

Never leave humour out of what you do or say, and take everything that's being done or said (to you) with at least an equal amount of said 'substance' :D

FG, I know you have this by the bleedin' lorry-load (as does Garf... why the hell else would he agree to marr...ouch :rofl: ). Make sure your well never dries out.

I've now been married - successfully and to the same girl I should add - for nigh on 14 yrs, and it's still fun (most of the time)...

:bussi: :kuss: :herz: :love3: :baeh2: :knuddel1:
LB
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Re: Why am I married???

Beitragvon Mdf34 » Mo Jun 04, 2007 2:30 am

Flying Girl hat geschrieben:This is SOOOOOOO cool, Danny! :banana:

I for sure will remember this on August 18th when.......

......yep, I am getting married! :rofl:


Congratulations Mariann!!! I am happy for you.

Mike
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