Brief eines Bayern an die NASA

[kuschelhawk]

Greet God,

I write you, because you must help me. I have seen your Space Shuttle in the television. In color. And so came me the idea to make holidays in the world-room. Alone! Without my crazy wife. I am the Kraxlhuber. The King of Bavaria was my clock-clock grandfather. I stand on a very bad foot with my wife. Always she shouts with me. She has a shrill voice like a circle saw.

She lets no good hair at me. She says I am a Schlapp-tail. She wants that I become Bürgermaster. But I want not be Bürgermaster. I have nothing at the hat with the political shit. I want my Ruah. And so I want make holidays on the moon. Without my bad half. But I take my dog with me. He is a Boxer. His name is Wurstl. So I want book a flight in your next Space Shuttle.

But please give me not a window place. I would kotz you the rocket full, because I am not swindle- free. And no standing-place please. And please do not tell my wife that I want go alone. She has a big Schrot-gun. She would make a sieve from my ass. I need not much comfort. A nice double-room with bath and kloo and heating. And windows with look to the earth. So I am look through my farglass and see my wife working on the potatoe field. And I and my dog laugh us a branch (häha). We will kringel ourself before laughing (höhöhöhöhö).

Is what loose on the moon? I need worm weather and I hope the sun shines every day. This is very good for my frost-boils.